Archives For Loneliness

loneliestroad

Empty is the perfect starting place for God to do His work in your life. Let it begin. You are not forgotten, but you might have forgotten Him. You just might have something to recapture.

According to Wikipedia, In July 1986, Life magazine published an article that gave US 50 in Nevada the name “The Loneliest Road in America”. The article portrayed the highway, and rural Nevada, as a place devoid of civilization.

I can attest to the fact it is long, hot and lonely for sure. Years ago a friend and I took the route on our Harley’s as we were making our way from San Francisco to Florida. It wasn’t long until we needed some gas, but finding gas wasn’t easy at all. We started getting low on fuel and started looking well enough in advance for gas, but a gas station was nowhere to be found.

It wasn’t long until we were running on fumes. In order to conserve fuel, we slowed our speed  to only 25 miles per hours. Mile after mile went by and still no gas station in sight. It was looking bad, and all we could do was begin to imagine what it was going to be like stranded in the middle of nowhere-The Loneliest Road In America.

Finally, just when all hope was about gone, we saw a gas station a few miles ahead. I’ve never been so thankful for a gas station in my life! Normally, gas stations are on every corner, and you don’t even give them a passing thought. However, when you are on a remote road in the middle of nowhere, it recaptures proper value.

I often think there are times God allows us to run close to empty in order to RECAPTURE His proper value in our lives. We can get so use to Him that we don’t give Him the value He continually deserves.

We made it to the station. We filled our gas tanks. We smiled at each other and didn’t have to say a word. We both knew how valuable this gas station was to us.

Is your spiritual life running on empty? It might just be that God wants you to recaptures His proper value in your life. Take time today to allow Him to refuel your life and my prayer for you is that God Recaptures that very distinct place in your heart again.

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Loneliness chokes the human spirit. Loneliness was one of the first feelings God dealt with in the Garden of Eden. In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It’s not good for the man to be alone…” In a beautiful garden that was created by God, loneliness somehow showed up and it’s be showing up ever since.

Have you ever felt completely alone? I’m sure you have. Maybe you are feeling lonely right now. Maybe you are feeling like no one who crosses your path daily even has a clue as to just how lonely you feel. The world simply can’t see deep into your soul where the pain of loneliness has found a home.

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate. It happens to people of all ages and from every walk of life. There are some people that have lived more than half their life wondering why they are even here at all. A deep sense of loneliness attacks some people from time to time and yet, for others loneliness seems to never go away. The pain of loneliness is so powerful it feels like a endless night where there is no rest for the soul.

If you are feeling loneliness today, you are not alone. You are not the first to experience loneliness, and you will not be the last to feel loneliness. Even Jesus felt loneliness, so you are in good company. Jesus felt loneliness in the garden the night He asked His disciples to pray with Him and they feel asleep. Jesus felt loneliness when the disciples fled and allowed Him to confront His trials by Himself.  Jesus, on the cross, cried out in absolute loneliness as He spoke, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”

God understands loneliness. He still calls it “not good.” Loneliness is a cold dark road to be on, but one day it will be done away with forever. Loneliness knows it’s existence is short. At the second coming of Christ, He will set all things right. There will be no more tears in God’s future. Loneliness will be cast away forever, giving way to an eternal sunrise.

I have no answers for you today. I only have a road to keep pointing you down. It’s a road where heaven and earth will one day come together, and God will dwell with us forever. That my dear friend, is the hope that lights the way through loneliness.

Loneliness Runs Deep

November 19, 2012 — 2 Comments

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Psalm 142:4 (ESV)

4 Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul.

David felt invisible. He felt like he had no safe place. He felt like no one cared for his well being. David was lonely.

Loneliness is when a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. That was David. How about you? Have you been feeling lonely lately? If so, God cares for the lonely and God knows what loneliness feels like.

God created Adam. Adam lived in a perfect Garden. However, one thing was missing! He had an aching deep inside that the Garden could not take away.  Adam was lonely. The poet John Milton once wrote, “Loneliness is the first thing which God’s eye named, not good”

In Genesis 2:18 God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone…

We were created for relationships. That’s why loneliness is so ugly and God calls it not good. God didn’t intend for people to be lonely or to live alone. God created us to be in relationship with Him and others.  Mother Teresa once said, ‘The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.

The Pain of loneliness runs deep, but God’s healing runs deeper. I want you to believe that today. I want you to hold on to that truth.

I have 2 questions I would like to raise and answer

1. Does God Care About the Lonely?

2. Does God understand what loneliness feels like?

In Mark 1, we have the story of a leper.

1. Does God Care About The Lonely?

In Christ’s day, when someone approached a leper, they had to cry aloud, “Unclean!” Their lives were a living hell. They were shunned and isolated. They couldn’t even enter the temple to pray. They couldn’t hug their children, or spend time with their family. They were cast outside with others who were unclean. THEY WERE LONELY.

Mark 1:40-42

40 And a leper came to him, imploring him, and kneeling said to him,  “If you will, you can make me clean.”

People are not the source; God is the source. God did not create us to be lonely. We have an intrinsic need for relationships.

41 Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him and said to him, “I will; be clean.” 42 And immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean.

Jesus could have healed without touching this man. However, he was lonely and needed a touch. When Jesus healed the leper, He did more than cure a disease. He took the leper from a life of loneliness and isolation, into a life of relationships and community.

2. Does God understand what loneliness feels like?

John 16:32(ESV)

32 Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me

Jesus knows what loneliness feels like. Peter said to Jesus he would never deny him and so did the rest of the disciples. Of course, we know the rest of the story. In the Garden, they couldn’t even stay awake with Christ. The disciples ended up scattering. On the cross Jesus experienced the Father pulling away, when He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!”

I remind you once more; the pain of loneliness runs deep, but God’s healing runs deeper. He cares for the lonely and He knows what loneliness feels like. My prayer is that you will find comfort in this truth.

grassgreener
Is Sex Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence?

The fastest way to destroy your marriage is to allow yourself to fall into an emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse. Nothing can steal intimacy faster than this first step away from the covenant God has placed you in when you took your vows before God and the world. Now, let me say at this point; if you want to comment adultery, it’s your choice…but know this-it’s going to cost you. It will destroy your home and the lives of many around you. There is simply no way around the fact that it will cause pain forever.

Adultery promises fulfillment and excitement that you feel you are not getting at home. The problem is, it always fails to live up to that promise sooner or later. You must remember, love is not a feeling; love is an action that you continually do and feelings are secondary. The green grass on the other side of the fence has the same sun shining on it as the grass you are thinking about leaving.

Please remember, that the decision to cross the fence comes with consequences that are enormous and last for a lifetime. It has been said before, and I agree, “No sex outside of marriage is that good.” That new adventure also has it’s own disappoints of life waiting to show itself soon enough. Those feelings of loneliness, emptiness and boredom that is diving you to pursue someone else…they will soon surface in the next relationship also. The reason why is that those feelings are inside you. In other words, everywhere you go, there you are.

It’s a fact that most people don’t set out to commit adultery. They let down their guard, and they generally drift out to sea until land seems to far to return to. It’s like the frog place in warm water: you turn up the temperature little by little until the frog is cooked. The frog just thinks it’s having a warm bath but the truth is he is being killed.

Allow me to give you three things that will help you to remain faithful and keep you from wreaking you life and others.

1. Keep the marriage bed on fire and purse each other

Take the time to talk with your spouse about your needs, wants and desires. Share with each other what you are looking for in the bedroom. Come to an agreement for the sake of the marriage, your kids and God. Submit to each other the bible teaches us. Cultivate romance in your relationship again. I would encourage you to pursue your spouse the way you did when you first started dating. If you are not still dating your spouse, you need to restart that as fast as you can. Get a baby sitter and leave the kids at home. Go to a movie and a meal. Hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. Talk about the beauty of the past and dream with each other about the beauty of the future.

2. Close the door on your heart to any other except your spouse

Make yourself accountable to a friend that will ask you about your flirting with others. Be open and honest with them and ask them to pray and ask you regularly about it. The bible teaches us that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Trust me, you need someone in your life that will speak truth without watering it down. You eyes are the gateway to the heart. Give your eyes back to your spouse and that feeling of him or her no longer having your heart will return like a flood.

3. Don’t deny you are being tempted

You and your spouse need to make a decision that you can freely and opening talk about your temptations. Temptation is not wrong. Temptation is not a sin. However, once you act on temptation sin is birthed. If you were at the office and someone was flirting with you or you were flirting with them…when you get home sit down and talk about it. You and your spouse need to decide in advance that these kinds of talk can and should take place without judgment. Confession can be risky, but the truth is, they can also save your marriage before it is too late.

Finally, if you are on the other side of adultery and have divorced and maybe even married again, and then grace and mercy from God is there when you repent of your sin. My advice would be this…go to the top of the post and read it again. Don’t commit the same SIN again.

lonely-heart

Loneliness is a heavy burden to carry.   Loneliness can be experienced because you have isolated yourself away from people and it can also be experienced among a crowd. Sometimes, the loneliness place to be is in a crowd of people where you feel like you don’t connect with anyone in the room.You find a safe place in the crowded room and say nothing because you feel like you have nothing of importance to share, so you don’t even try. Somewhere deep down you don’t like the person you are, therefore, you falsely believe no one else will like you either.

With that kind of thinking you become very self-critical of yourself and believe the lie that you have nothing to offer of value. When you give into that type of thinking, the downward spiral of depression sets in. You begin to have feelings that you are not worthy or good enough to be anyone’s friend.

Believe it or not, one of the causes of loneliness is not a lack of friends because you may have many. The main cause that produces loneliness is a lack of a true intimate relationships. You need a few intimate relationships in order to share your emotions in a safe place. You need a few intimate friends that will listen and help you overcome loneliness.

But how do you find those type of people? Well, there are lonely people everywhere wanting to be heard. Find someone that needs what you need and give them the gift of listening. You will be amazed at how fast they will become a listener for your hurts.

To conquer loneliness you must get involved with people. You are going to have to put yourself out there more often. You are going to have to spend more time in crowds but not hide away in the crowd like I mentioned in the beginning of this post.

Places To Start Your Healing

  1. Talk to people.  Each time you talk to someone new, a new possible friendship presents itself.
  2. Find a place to volunteer like a soup kitchen or tutoring at a local school.
  3. Join a team sport in your community.
  4. Go to a local hospital and sit in the waiting room. Look for an opportunity to talk with someone waiting on a loved one to come out of surgery.
  5. Important note: Once you meet people in the ways I just mentioned, you must invite them to meet you outside of those events/places. (That’s taking it to the next level)

I could go on and on but I think you get the point. Get back out there and try again.

Remember

Proverbs 18:1
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.

 

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