Archives For hope

Is Sex Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence?

The fastest way to destroy your marriage is to allow yourself to fall into an emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse. Nothing can steal intimacy faster than this first step away from the covenant God has placed you in when you took your vows before God and the world. Now, let me say at this point; if you want to comment adultery, it’s your choice…but know this-it’s going to cost you. It will destroy your home and the lives of many around you. There is simply no way around the fact that it will cause pain forever.

Adultery promises fulfillment and excitement that you feel you are not getting at home. The problem is, it always fails to live up to that promise sooner or later. You must remember, love is not a feeling; love is an action that you continually do and feelings are secondary. The green grass on the other side of the fence has the same sun shining on it as the grass you are thinking about leaving.

Please remember, that the decision to cross the fence comes with consequences that are enormous and last for a lifetime. It has been said before, and I agree, “No sex outside of marriage is that good.” That new adventure also has it’s own disappoints of life waiting to show itself soon enough. Those feelings of loneliness, emptiness and boredom that is diving you to pursue someone else…they will soon surface in the next relationship also. The reason why is that those feelings are inside you. In other words, everywhere you go, there you are.

It’s a fact that most people don’t set out to commit adultery. They let down their guard, and they generally drift out to sea until land seems to far to return to. It’s like the frog place in warm water: you turn up the temperature little by little until the frog is cooked. The frog just thinks it’s having a warm bath but the truth is he is being killed.

Allow me to give you three things that will help you to remain faithful and keep you from wreaking you life and others.

1. Keep the marriage bed on fire and purse each other

Take the time to talk with your spouse about your needs, wants and desires. Share with each other what you are looking for in the bedroom. Come to an agreement for the sake of the marriage, your kids and God. Submit to each other the bible teaches us. Cultivate romance in your relationship again. I would encourage you to pursue your spouse the way you did when you first started dating. If you are not still dating your spouse, you need to restart that as fast as you can. Get a baby sitter and leave the kids at home. Go to a movie and a meal. Hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. Talk about the beauty of the past and dream with each other about the beauty of the future.

2. Close the door on your heart to any other except your spouse

Make yourself accountable to a friend that will ask you about your flirting with others. Be open and honest with them and ask them to pray and ask you regularly about it. The bible teaches us that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Trust me, you need someone in your life that will speak truth without watering it down. You eyes are the gateway to the heart. Give your eyes back to your spouse and that feeling of him or her no longer having your heart will return like a flood.

3. Don’t deny you are being tempted

You and your spouse need to make a decision that you can freely and opening talk about your temptations. Temptation is not wrong. Temptation is not a sin. However, once you act on temptation sin is birthed. If you were at the office and someone was flirting with you or you were flirting with them…when you get home sit down and talk about it. You and your spouse need to decide in advance that these kinds of talk can and should take place without judgment. Confession can be risky, but the truth is, they can also save your marriage before it is too late.

Finally, if you are on the other side of adultery and have divorced and maybe even married again, and then grace and mercy from God is there when you repent of your sin. My advice would be this…go to the top of the post and read it again. Don’t commit the same SIN again.

stress 2

Life is complicated and therefore brings stress often to the doorstep of the Christ follower. Stress is part of the human condition but God has the answer for that condition. God is the author of our life. He knows the beginning and the end and will give us peace that passes all understanding as we submit and trust Him completely. When stress dominates our walk; you can bet that somewhere along the way our trust in God has faded just a little.

Stress often attacks us with circumstances that are out of our control. Stress comes in all kinds of forms, but no matter what form it takes, trusting in God is a major key to winning the battle. Don’t misunderstand me…living a stress-free life isn’t easy to obtain. However, there are a few things you can do that will keep you heading in the right direction when you feel stress staring to take over.

Here are a few tips that have helped me over the years

Practical Tips

1. Get in a bar fight (Okay, that’s not true. Just wanted to make sure you were pay attention)

2. Sleep (You must get enough rest. Make sure you are getting at least 8 hours of sleep per night)

3. Take a look at your diet (Are you eating healthy? Is your weight were it should be?)

4. Exercise (You don’t have to go crazy but walking after your evening meal will do wonders)

5. Work and Family (Do you work more than have family time? Change that NOW!) (Balance it!)

Spiritual Tips

1. Prayer (Give your stress to God by telling Him all about it. Then, leave it with Him. Trust Him)

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

2. Praise Him (God inhabits the praises of His people. Sing to Him and watch what happens. Try it!)

Praise will take your mind off of self, and refocus your mind on God.

Psalm 22:3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.”

3. Stay in the Word (Read God’s Word and let it read you)

Matthew 11:28-30
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

What are some ways you have found to be helpful? Leave a comment.

Did You Hear Jesus Sigh?

September 25, 2012 — Leave a comment


earsWhy did Jesus sigh? The definition of sigh is to take a deep audible breath (as in weariness or relief)

Mark 7:31-37 is such a great passage. So much is going on it’s hard not to be overwhelmed with joy when you read it. The people brought to Jesus a man who was deaf and had a impediment in his speech. They begged Jesus to touch him.

The first thing that jumps out at me is the care and concern of the people. They knew Jesus was the answer and they would bring people to him. In fact they would bring people and would begged Him to do something. All through the scripture we see this beautiful pattern of care, this pattern of people bringing other to Jesus but I wonder how much of it happens in our day and age? Do we rely on the “church show”, to bring them in?

Do we look to bring people to Him? Do we pray for our lost friends and love ones to be touched by Him?  After all, the scriptures tell us to go out and compel them to come in so that the house will be full. I wonder…is there much “compelling” going on in Western Christianity?

Next Jesus takes him aside. Now isn’t that just like our amazing God! He pulls us away from the multitude in order to take care of us, to love on us…to heal us. Jesus always had compassion on the crowd but He did His greatest work on individuals.

What was healed?  His ears were opened and his speech was set free. That is what happens to us when God shows up. He opens us open to hear Him and when we hear Him our hearts are changed and our speech is set free to speak of Him.

Finally, the passage says, “He Sighed…”
I’m not sure where I read it or heard it but the reason He sighed was because we were never suppose to be broken or separated from Him. (See Genesis 1:26-31) We were created to live forever as the good creation He created. It was our choice to sin that broke the relationship and it was and is the curse of sin that damages us and this world. There is only one answer…that answer is Jesus.

Well, I could just go on and on but I’ll save it for another time.

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God’s timing and my timing….boy are they two different things.

In Mark chapter 5 Jairus had a daughter who was sick and so he goes to Jesus and begged Him to come and heal his little girl.

On the way Jesus is stopped by the touch of another. A women with a 12 year issue of blood touched Jesus and He stopped. Now even though God was at work, the world of Jairus must have went into slow motion.

How could Jesus stop knowing I have sick daughter at home?  Jairus must have had many question going through his mind. I know I would have.

After the healing of the woman the bible says, “While He was still speaking, some came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house who said, “Your daughter is dead. Whey trouble the Teacher any further?”

Now here is the really blessed part. Even though the timing had changed for Jairus, the timing for his daughter to be  touched of God was perfect, right on time and not forgotten in the context of another getting what they needed first. (The Woman)

Notice in verse 36 of Mark 5 where it says, “As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.”

Just because Jesus stops to touch someone else first doesn’t mean you have been overlooked. It only means your timing and His timing are different.

Your touch is coming!


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When you call out to God and there is not even an echo of sound back, it can be the most disturbing part of your relationship with Him. Many Christ-followers throughout the ages have experienced the silence of God. We go before God with broken hearts; hearts of desperate needs and countless other hopes…yet instead of hearing from God, there is nothing but silence.

Your own thoughts whisper to you, “Why doesn’t God answer me? Why is God using me to help others all around me and I see him working in their behalf, but for me…nothing?” Deep in your spirit if just feels like one big sick joke. His continued silence starts to cause major relationship issues in your walk with Him and you’re not sure how much more you can take.

However, deep down…way down in your soul, something tells you too keep trusting and so you do. Oddly, there is a peace in the storm of silence and so you make the greatest faith decision of your life…you keep waiting. You somehow know God has not forsaken you. You somehow know God will speak when it’s time. You ears at this point begin to hear reasons for the silence and hope begins to rise in your heart once again.

Softly your heart whispers to you, “Maybe a work in me is more important that a work for me at this point in my life.” Your heart whispers again and says, “Silence is the best grace for you right now…trust Him deeper.” Then it hits you like a hammer! God becomes silent sometimes so that we hunger for His voice and not our own.

God cares deeply about us and hears every request, but that doesn’t mean his answer can’t still be silence. Silence reawakens our hungry for Him alone, instead of our hunger for His answers. Once we return to God being enough the silence is often broken and the answer floods our life.

Waiting in silences is great company and not the curse it feels like. You are in great company with saints that lived before you, saints that will live after you, and yes-even creation waits. Hope fills the silence until the answer comes.

Romans 8:22-25 (NIV)

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Leonardo da Vinci once said, “Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”

Silence will allow the authority of God to grow in your heart again if you submit to the silence and stop running from it.

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.” Mother Teresa

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.



While on the B.A.R.T. (Bay Area Rapid Transit) in San Francisco I encountered a homeless man with a unique hat that changed my view of things. It was many years ago but it’s helped me countless times.


He was sitting with his arms folded and his head was slightly down. He was looking no one in the eyes. I noticed something written in marker under the bill of his hat. I kept waiting for him to look up so I could read it but he never did.

Finally, curiosity got the better of me and so I spoke up and asked him what was written under the bill of his hat.  He looked at me and said with a smile, “hope.” I asked him to explain it to me more deeply. He said when all seems hopeless in my life, I can look up and see the word hope and somehow I can make it the next step.”

I came to understand that day that there is something worse than homelessness…hopelessness is much worse and can affect everyone. However, God is the hope giver and He is boundless when it comes to having enough to give to each of us. Sometimes it’s just enough to take the next step, but it’s always enough to make it forward.

I want you to know today that your God is boundless in His answers for you. He is boundless with hope for you. He always has enough for you in your time of need. There is never a bottom to hit with God. There is never a ceiling to hit with God. He has no limit you can find. He is able to help you even after you have lost all hope. He is the hope giver because it is His to give.

For anyone feeling hopeless today read and be encouraged. God bless all of you.

Job 11:7 7-9 “Can you search out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limits of the Almighty? 8 They are higher than heaven—what can you do? 
Deeper than Sheol—what can you know? 9 Their measure is longer than the earth And broader than the sea.