To all my readers I wish you a very Merry Christmas. I pray your day is blessed. Thanks for following the blog. Enjoy your day with friends and family.
The fastest way to destroy your marriage is to allow yourself to fall into an emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse. Nothing can steal intimacy faster than this first step away from the covenant God has placed you in when you took your vows before God and the world. Now, let me say at this point; if you want to comment adultery, it’s your choice…but know this-it’s going to cost you. It will destroy your home and the lives of many around you. There is simply no way around the fact that it will cause pain forever.
Adultery promises fulfillment and excitement that you feel you are not getting at home. The problem is, it always fails to live up to that promise sooner or later. You must remember, love is not a feeling; love is an action that you continually do and feelings are secondary. The green grass on the other side of the fence has the same sun shining on it as the grass you are thinking about leaving.
Please remember, that the decision to cross the fence comes with consequences that are enormous and last for a lifetime. It has been said before, and I agree, “No sex outside of marriage is that good.” That new adventure also has it’s own disappoints of life waiting to show itself soon enough. Those feelings of loneliness, emptiness and boredom that is diving you to pursue someone else…they will soon surface in the next relationship also. The reason why is that those feelings are inside you. In other words, everywhere you go, there you are.
It’s a fact that most people don’t set out to commit adultery. They let down their guard, and they generally drift out to sea until land seems to far to return to. It’s like the frog place in warm water: you turn up the temperature little by little until the frog is cooked. The frog just thinks it’s having a warm bath but the truth is he is being killed.
Allow me to give you three things that will help you to remain faithful and keep you from wreaking you life and others.
1. Keep the marriage bed on fire and purse each other
Take the time to talk with your spouse about your needs, wants and desires. Share with each other what you are looking for in the bedroom. Come to an agreement for the sake of the marriage, your kids and God. Submit to each other the bible teaches us. Cultivate romance in your relationship again. I would encourage you to pursue your spouse the way you did when you first started dating. If you are not still dating your spouse, you need to restart that as fast as you can. Get a baby sitter and leave the kids at home. Go to a movie and a meal. Hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. Talk about the beauty of the past and dream with each other about the beauty of the future.
2. Close the door on your heart to any other except your spouse
Make yourself accountable to a friend that will ask you about your flirting with others. Be open and honest with them and ask them to pray and ask you regularly about it. The bible teaches us that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Trust me, you need someone in your life that will speak truth without watering it down. You eyes are the gateway to the heart. Give your eyes back to your spouse and that feeling of him or her no longer having your heart will return like a flood.
3. Don’t deny you are being tempted
You and your spouse need to make a decision that you can freely and opening talk about your temptations. Temptation is not wrong. Temptation is not a sin. However, once you act on temptation sin is birthed. If you were at the office and someone was flirting with you or you were flirting with them…when you get home sit down and talk about it. You and your spouse need to decide in advance that these kinds of talk can and should take place without judgment. Confession can be risky, but the truth is, they can also save your marriage before it is too late.
Finally, if you are on the other side of adultery and have divorced and maybe even married again, and then grace and mercy from God is there when you repent of your sin. My advice would be this…go to the top of the post and read it again. Don’t commit the same SIN again.
Life is complicated and therefore brings stress often to the doorstep of the Christ follower. Stress is part of the human condition but God has the answer for that condition. God is the author of our life. He knows the beginning and the end and will give us peace that passes all understanding as we submit and trust Him completely. When stress dominates our walk; you can bet that somewhere along the way our trust in God has faded just a little.
Stress often attacks us with circumstances that are out of our control. Stress comes in all kinds of forms, but no matter what form it takes, trusting in God is a major key to winning the battle. Don’t misunderstand me…living a stress-free life isn’t easy to obtain. However, there are a few things you can do that will keep you heading in the right direction when you feel stress staring to take over.
Here are a few tips that have helped me over the years
1. Get in a bar fight (Okay, that’s not true. Just wanted to make sure you were pay attention)
2. Sleep (You must get enough rest. Make sure you are getting at least 8 hours of sleep per night)
3. Take a look at your diet (Are you eating healthy? Is your weight were it should be?)
4. Exercise (You don’t have to go crazy but walking after your evening meal will do wonders)
5. Work and Family (Do you work more than have family time? Change that NOW!) (Balance it!)
1. Prayer (Give your stress to God by telling Him all about it. Then, leave it with Him. Trust Him)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
2. Praise Him (God inhabits the praises of His people. Sing to Him and watch what happens. Try it!)
Praise will take your mind off of self, and refocus your mind on God.
Psalm 22:3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.”
3. Stay in the Word (Read God’s Word and let it read you)
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”
What are some ways you have found to be helpful? Leave a comment.
Family should be primary. Family is the testing ground of the soul, and of the heart. Family will reveal what is really going on deep inside of a person.
Like, when I’m slow to listen to some strange, and then get home only to shut my wife or kids down in a middle of a sentence. You can tell your wife and kids to shut up without ever saying the words if they feel rushed to speak when they are around you. (I call it a wordless shut up)
It would be easy for me to excuse away my shortness with meaningless rational, but I would still be left with the fact that something on the inside is not right. If I will listen…if you will listen…family time is a great place to get your compass realigned.
I spend much time making or trying to make people I come into contact with feel great about their lives, that they matter, that they are heard, but there are many times I fail at home when it comes to my own family. It would do each of us well to not forget that family is our first priority.
So what’s the answer?
What about you?