Archives For eye contact

Is Sex Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence?

The fastest way to destroy your marriage is to allow yourself to fall into an emotional attachment to someone other than your spouse. Nothing can steal intimacy faster than this first step away from the covenant God has placed you in when you took your vows before God and the world. Now, let me say at this point; if you want to comment adultery, it’s your choice…but know this-it’s going to cost you. It will destroy your home and the lives of many around you. There is simply no way around the fact that it will cause pain forever.

Adultery promises fulfillment and excitement that you feel you are not getting at home. The problem is, it always fails to live up to that promise sooner or later. You must remember, love is not a feeling; love is an action that you continually do and feelings are secondary. The green grass on the other side of the fence has the same sun shining on it as the grass you are thinking about leaving.

Please remember, that the decision to cross the fence comes with consequences that are enormous and last for a lifetime. It has been said before, and I agree, “No sex outside of marriage is that good.” That new adventure also has it’s own disappoints of life waiting to show itself soon enough. Those feelings of loneliness, emptiness and boredom that is diving you to pursue someone else…they will soon surface in the next relationship also. The reason why is that those feelings are inside you. In other words, everywhere you go, there you are.

It’s a fact that most people don’t set out to commit adultery. They let down their guard, and they generally drift out to sea until land seems to far to return to. It’s like the frog place in warm water: you turn up the temperature little by little until the frog is cooked. The frog just thinks it’s having a warm bath but the truth is he is being killed.

Allow me to give you three things that will help you to remain faithful and keep you from wreaking you life and others.

1. Keep the marriage bed on fire and purse each other

Take the time to talk with your spouse about your needs, wants and desires. Share with each other what you are looking for in the bedroom. Come to an agreement for the sake of the marriage, your kids and God. Submit to each other the bible teaches us. Cultivate romance in your relationship again. I would encourage you to pursue your spouse the way you did when you first started dating. If you are not still dating your spouse, you need to restart that as fast as you can. Get a baby sitter and leave the kids at home. Go to a movie and a meal. Hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. Talk about the beauty of the past and dream with each other about the beauty of the future.

2. Close the door on your heart to any other except your spouse

Make yourself accountable to a friend that will ask you about your flirting with others. Be open and honest with them and ask them to pray and ask you regularly about it. The bible teaches us that faithful are the wounds of a friend. Trust me, you need someone in your life that will speak truth without watering it down. You eyes are the gateway to the heart. Give your eyes back to your spouse and that feeling of him or her no longer having your heart will return like a flood.

3. Don’t deny you are being tempted

You and your spouse need to make a decision that you can freely and opening talk about your temptations. Temptation is not wrong. Temptation is not a sin. However, once you act on temptation sin is birthed. If you were at the office and someone was flirting with you or you were flirting with them…when you get home sit down and talk about it. You and your spouse need to decide in advance that these kinds of talk can and should take place without judgment. Confession can be risky, but the truth is, they can also save your marriage before it is too late.

Finally, if you are on the other side of adultery and have divorced and maybe even married again, and then grace and mercy from God is there when you repent of your sin. My advice would be this…go to the top of the post and read it again. Don’t commit the same SIN again.

Finding Jesus In Sadness

October 1, 2012 — 2 Comments

When you find someone that is sad, you might just be finding Jesus.

There are times I’ve encountered people who seem really unfriendly and indifferent. My first reaction (just being honest here) is to get as far away as possible. After all, I wouldn’t want to come down with a case of unfriendly and indifference myself. However, Jesus was a friend of the brokenhearted and so must I be also; and so must you. Every person has some kind of sorrow that he or she tries to hidden deep inside; and many times, a person that I label a cold person, is only someone that is really sad.

Sadness is everywhere in this world. Sadness is everywhere you will venture today. Look for it in burst of anger from people. Anger is an extension of sadness that is deep inside of a person. They are afraid to share their hurt with anyone, so it’s much easier to be angry at the world and everyone around them. They would prefer to just slip away and be by themselves but they must work. Angry keeps people at a distance.

You see, when a person is sad, they desperately and sometimes just naturally withdraw form others. They rather avoid people altogether. That’s where you come in and allow God to use you for His glory and their benefit. Once you recognize someone is really sad, that just might be God’s invitation to you to help, instead of running away. With all the sadness that is in the world and at our very own doorsteps, it has been said; “we are under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.”

The bible tells us in Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Therefore, if the Lord lives in us through the power of the Holy Spirit, then He is certainly seeking to be near those who are sad by working through your life and mine. The Lord is always leading His followers to the wounded if they will just simply follow and obey and not run away from where He is trying to work.

I want to remind you that Jesus was a ‘man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.’ He knew what sadness felt like. He experienced sadness all the way to the cross. He endured the cross for you and me…and the world of sadness.

We are told in Hebrews 12:2, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

I want you to remember today, that when you take time to bring a little joy to someone who is sad, you are allow them to look at Jesus through the reflection of your eyes fixed on Him. Scripture makes it clear that when we minster to the hurting of the world, we are in fact ministering to Jesus. You are finding Jesus in sadness. God bless you today and you do your part to stamp out sadness and replace it with the joy of Jesus.


Good eye contact can and should be part of glorifying God to the world. Eyes are a great attribute to use for witnessing because they can show a million emotions. Eyes tell the other person a story. Eyes speak of the confidence God has called you to show to a world that is desperately looking for something to believe it. If you have trouble with good eye contact, it’s probably because you are really shy. However, God can help you to overcome those shy moments when you realize that good eye contact can be a great witnessing tool for Him. (Special Note: Western countries view eye contact differently than some Eastern countries. In Eastern countries strong eye contact might be viewed as rude.)

Why is eye contact a great witness of Christ at work in your life?

1. It shows great esteem to the person you are speaking with

When you lean in just a little, and make great eye contact, you are showing the other person respect. You are saying to them they are valuable. You are sending the same message to them that God sends to us. God loves us and gives us His full attention at all times. When we do the same for others, it’s showing them the respect of God in us and through us.

2. It shows the other person is significant

You are sending a message, (HIS MESSAGE) that they are worthy of undivided time. We live in a fast paced world where people are overlooked all the time. Good eye contact that is undivided, says to the other person, “You are more valuable than time.” Once again…that’s a God thing. God always has time for us and gives us all that we need.

3. It shows Godly concern

You are sending a hug with your eyes that you are concerned with every detail of their lives. Again, this is how God is toward us. He is concerned about all that is going on in our lives…even the boring parts. Good eye contact shows the concern of God is always there waiting and listening.

Eye contact is something you may have never thought of as a way of witnessing for Christ but it’s more important than you can ever imagine. We would do well for the Kingdom of God if we used our eyes to project a positive image of Christ through us to others.

Need some tips for better eye contact skills? Start here and explore their other links.

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