Archives For Offended

doubt

If you have ever had a friend, or a family member doubt the faith, you know how disheartening that can be. It cuts your very soul. In some cases, your friend or family member simply doubts something in the bible, but in other cases, they may even depart from the faith altogether. It hurts to see this happen, and it give rise to many emotions inside of you. In fact, many of those emotions, if not submitted to the Lord, can damage the one doubting, if unleashed on them improperly by you.

Here, are some things to do when doubt has captured your friend or family member.

1. Keep your emotions on the altar

Take all your angry feelings, and leave them on the altar of God. He can handle your pain better than you can. Worship Him until the feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal slip away.

2. Trust that God is still asking questions through them

Even John the Baptist doubted at one point in his life, and sent word asking if Jesus was really the one. Once He heard the right answer, he was unchained from doubt, and moved on in His faith. All great men and women of God have doubted at some point in their walk with Christ.

3. When they become unfaithful, God doesn’t

2 Timothy 2:13 tells us, “if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.” God is faithful and will continue to work in their lives, even when they have stopped moving forward with God. You must remember, God loves your friend or family member more than you ever can.

4. God can move mountains

What is impossible for man is never impossible for God. He can move doubt over the cliff in their life in a moment of time. Mighty to Save by Hillsong says this,
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

5. Finally, my favorite verse that many forget about.

MERCY! Jude 1:22 tells us, “22 And have mercy on those who doubt;” You must never forget that mercy wins over judgment. When you want to give judgement to the one you love…GIVE MERCY

God bless you
Pastor Steve

JealousyThe most unsightly stage to live life on is Jealousy. Jealousy is even more menacing than anger or fury. Don’t believe me? Take a look at Proverbs 27:4, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?”(NIV)

Jealousy divides people, which is the opposite of what Christ followers should be doing. We are reconcilers in Christ. We have been called to walk in the ministry of reconciliation. Jealousy is an enemy and will destroy your testimony of Christ likeness.

Jealousy is not something new to the human experience. In fact, it’s been around since the very beginning. Satan used it to inspire Adam and Eve to disobey God. Cain and Abel is another excellent example. I could go on and on, but you get the point. Jealousy is nothing new and neither is its danger.

What’s in the soil of jealousy?

1. Unsuccessful outlook on your life

We want what we want now. That seems to be the default thinking of the fallen heart within us. Life has a way many times of not delivering things we want fast enough. Therefore, when someone else gets what you wanted before you get it, it gives rise to jealousy.

2. Privilege is a right

Our fallen DNA speaks an untruth constantly. In the echoes of our fallen human heart, we hear the whisper, “You have the right to anything you want.” We truly do have a predisposition toward entitlement that is extraordinarily damaging to our witness for Christ, if we let it gain control of our lives.

3. The more monster

Many live life always wanting more because they are convinced that more of this, or more of that, will make them happy. More will never complete you. Only God can complete you. It easy to look at other people and wish you had all they had. What is difficult, yet healing is to look at God and know assuredly that He is all you will ever need.

How to get a handle on jealousy

1. First, you must submit your thoughts to God.

The mind is a powerful gift, but when allowed to grow negative thoughts, and thoughts of jealousy, it can create chaos into your life. The moment this begins to take place, you can win against it, by stopping, and praying for someone to be blessed other than yourself. In fact, try praying for the person you are jealous of. (Oh Yeah!)

2. Believe God’s plan for your life again

God has a plan for you life. He is building your life. He takes away what needs to be taken away, and he allows into your life those things that you actually need. His timing is correct in your life. There is no need to compare yourself to others.

3. Blessing others will keep you free

This one is a no-brainer. Blessing others will take the focus off of you. When you bless others, you are blessing God. When you bless God, marvelous things happen inside of you soul. Test it and you will see.

4. Take an inventory

Count up all the good things in your life. You just might be surprised at all the good you actually have. The garage of your life is not that empty. You simply have more blessings than you know you do. We often lose sight of them all because we are always looking for more.

Like this post? Like my blog? Then sign up by email to the right of this post or by Subscribing to my RSS Feed

GUYS-Bon-Qui-Qui--Don-t-Interrupt,-Rude--teeProverbs 18:13 teaches us, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

Do you have a habit of interrupting people when they’re talking? Do you jump into their conversation, and splash their face with selfishness more often than you want to admit? I must admit I use to be downright crummy at these many years ago. I wasn’t terrible, but I interrupted frequently. How about you? Could you use a little more work in this area?

I’m continuously astonished at how nonchalant some people can be about interrupting others. It seems some have lost the grace of listening to the other person and waiting their turn. Don’t get me wrong, not interrupting is difficult, especially when you have a point you want to make, and you’re afraid you’re going to forget it. I would venture to say, that may be one of the main reasons people interrupt others. They simple have a point they want to make before they forget. However, that’s still no excuse for being rude and interrupting the other person.

Interrupting is often just downright disrespectful and needs to be removed from our lives as much as possible. When you interrupt someone, you are sending them a message that your words are more valuable than their words. You can tell when you have interrupted because you usually will do it mid-sentence. Interrupting is more than an etiquette no-no, it can also hinder your testimony for Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:5 says of love that, “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking…” It is easy to forget, that love is tied to our testimony, and when we interrupt another person, we can be in danger of diminishing the love of Christ.

Let me give you a few tips on how not to interrupt others.

1. Become aware

You need to be aware that you might just be an interrupter. We all know what it feels like when others interrupt us, but many of us are never aware that we also might be the one interrupting.

2. Make a note in your mind

If you have something you need to say, make a note in your mind, and say it when it’s your turn. If you have a hard time remembering things, then write down a one word reminder on a piece of paper. (Don’t have a pen and paper? Carry them with you. You won’t regret it.)

3. Give permission for someone to interrupt you
Ask your spouse, or a close friend to interrupt you, when you interrupt them, by calling you out on it. Tell them you are trying to improve your conversation skills, and your witness for Christ.

Closing thoughts: Yes there are times you may need to interrupt others; however, it’s rare and I’ll save my thoughts on that for another post.

P.S. Sorry to interrupt your busy day with this post. 🙂

Like this post? Like my blog? Then sign up by email to the right of this post or by Subscribing to my RSS Feed

What Is A Wordless Shut up?

September 21, 2012 — 2 Comments

shutup

Family should be primary. Family is the testing ground of the soul, and of the heart. Family will reveal what is really going on deep inside of a person.

Like, when I’m slow to listen to some strange, and then get home only to shut my wife or kids down in a middle of a sentence. You can tell your wife and kids to shut up without ever saying the words if they feel rushed to speak when they are around you. (I call it a wordless shut up)

It would be easy for me to excuse away my shortness with meaningless rational, but I would still be left with the fact that something on the inside is not right. If I will listen…if you will listen…family time is a great place to get your compass realigned.

I spend much time making or trying to make people I come into contact with feel great about their lives, that they matter, that they are heard, but there are many times I fail at home when it comes to my own family. It would do each of us well to not forget that family is our first priority.

So what’s the answer?

  • I will listen slower and longer to what my wife, son and daughter have to say when I get home.
  • I will give them the same respect and time, if not more, than I give a passing stranger seeking my advice.
  • I will… because it is simply right.
  • I will… because it’s my call and my joy and my responsibility.

What about you?

Resentment

“Resentment and fear are two issues that need to be dealt with before we can begin the process of preparing our inventory. Our resentment toward people, places, and things that have injured us keeps us preoccupied and limits our ability to live in the present moment.”(Friends in Recovery 62)

One of the things I have noticed over the many years of being a pastor is that many people are trapped in the endless cycle of resentment and fear. Often I see it manifest just when someone is getting really close to achieving what they have been attempting to accomplish for a long while. It is like they get right to the finish line and decide to turn to the left or to the right. Just before victory they take off running in the wrong direction while the crowd that was cheering them on stops cheering and looks on in disbelief. It is like they are afraid of success.

I am convinced that the thinking patterns they learned while young children kicks in and they revert back to what they know is safe, instead of pressing forward and crossing the finish line into the unknown, that may or may not be safe. They are simply allow resentment and fear to control them, and it’s not until they break this kind of thinking, that they will truly be free to become all that God wants them to be. It’s my belief they should take responsibility and move pass the comfortableness of wrong thinking and accept the fact they need to stop blaming others for their failures and move forward with God’s help.

I agree with the statement I found in the book that says, “Blaming others for our misfortune, denying responsibility for hurtful behavior, and resisting the truth are behavior patterns we must discard. These particular learned behaviors were developed early in life and have become character defects.” (Friends in Recovery 62)

Tips For Dealing With Resentment And Fear

1. Fear And Resentment Can Be Defeated With God’s love.

The bible tells us that perfect love cast out fear. Therefore, when you accept the love of God, and pass His love unconditional along to others,  you are turning the battle over to God and not carrying it yourself.

2.Letting Go Of Resentment And Fear Is a Decision.

You must stop allowing them to stealing your time. You will never move forward while chained to resentment and fear. Make a choice to walk in the promise that goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life. Picture goodness and mercy as two people behind you cheering you on!

3. Forgiveness Is Powerful

Forgiving yourself and forgiving others will crush resentment and fear. Both are hard to do but never impossible. The Holy Spirit living in you desires both to happen so surrender to His desire, and allow it to supernaturally take place.

What are you thoughts? Share with others by leaving a comment.

offended_answer_4_xlarge

I’ve learned over the years in ministry that there are four things that will cause more harm to the ministry and me than most anything I’ve come across. These four things are being quickly offended, easily provoked, too sensitive, and slow to recover when I’m offended. Most of all they damage me first, and then they reach out through me and hurt others. So what is the answer to laying these four killers to the side?

1. Self Talk

Most of the time we rush to judgment. We feel offended, so we must have been offended. When this happens to you, try asking yourself some questions to reframe the situation and put it in another light. Questions like, “Did they really mean what they said the way I heard what they said?” or “Is this person truly trying to bring pain into my life on purpose?” (Often, when we already have a wounded spirit, we tend to filter or hear things differently than it was intended.)

2. Change Places

View yourself from their perspective. Sometimes they just might be saying something that is true that you need to hear. The bible tells us that the wounds of a friend are faithful. (Note: at times, an enemy can even speak truth to you) In other words, sometimes truth hurts from friends but it is exactly what you need to hear in order to become a better person.

3. Convictions Verses Emotions

When I get over emotional on a subject I run the danger of being reactive under perceived press and it always ends up setting me below someone else or above someone else. Convictions, however, defines me to others. It neither sets me above or below. Personal boundaries flow better out of conviction than it does emotions.

4. You Don’t Have To Always Be Right

This one is simple. You are not right all the time. Learn this and you will be way ahead of most of the world in maturity. Learn to have the heart desire to only want to know and get to the truth. Perfect soil to grow hurt in is the, It’s-All-About-Me-Being-Right-Soil.

5. Don’t Jump Into The Defense Mode To Quickly

Learn to hear the other person out before you start to make a judgment on what they are trying to say to you. Give them room to say all they need to say. You might be surprised by the way they begin to sum-up what they have been trying to say to you. They may have some positive things near the end of their conversation that bless you.

Share You Thoughts. Leave A Comment.