Loneliness is a heavy burden to carry. Loneliness can be experienced because you have isolated yourself away from people and it can also be experienced among a crowd. Sometimes, the loneliness place to be is in a crowd of people where you feel like you don’t connect with anyone in the room.You find a safe place in the crowded room and say nothing because you feel like you have nothing of importance to share, so you don’t even try. Somewhere deep down you don’t like the person you are, therefore, you falsely believe no one else will like you either.
With that kind of thinking you become very self-critical of yourself and believe the lie that you have nothing to offer of value. When you give into that type of thinking, the downward spiral of depression sets in. You begin to have feelings that you are not worthy or good enough to be anyone’s friend.
Believe it or not, one of the causes of loneliness is not a lack of friends because you may have many. The main cause that produces loneliness is a lack of a true intimate relationships. You need a few intimate relationships in order to share your emotions in a safe place. You need a few intimate friends that will listen and help you overcome loneliness.
But how do you find those type of people? Well, there are lonely people everywhere wanting to be heard. Find someone that needs what you need and give them the gift of listening. You will be amazed at how fast they will become a listener for your hurts.
To conquer loneliness you must get involved with people. You are going to have to put yourself out there more often. You are going to have to spend more time in crowds but not hide away in the crowd like I mentioned in the beginning of this post.
Places To Start Your Healing
- Talk to people. Each time you talk to someone new, a new possible friendship presents itself.
- Find a place to volunteer like a soup kitchen or tutoring at a local school.
- Join a team sport in your community.
- Go to a local hospital and sit in the waiting room. Look for an opportunity to talk with someone waiting on a loved one to come out of surgery.
- Important note: Once you meet people in the ways I just mentioned, you must invite them to meet you outside of those events/places. (That’s taking it to the next level)
I could go on and on but I think you get the point. Get back out there and try again.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.
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